untitled

untitled.

is it wrong for me to ask,
is it wrong for me to care,
sometimes i just wanna share.

maybe you dont understand
how hard to be me
try to live in this shoes for a day
but i dont want you to feel that way

when you only have yourself
and nobody else
when your parents cant really help
and others are not really here

maybe,
the others leave me,
i hope you are not them
because i know you arent

is it wrong for me to ask,
is it wrong for me to care,
so if you dont want me to share
i'll understand

i will keep all inside this hollow heart
and hoping i can carry them through
until my time is up
they'll be buried inside with me

and when im gone that day
dont you worry about me
and dont be sorry,
my ma will be there
she would be listening to me everyday

until that day
time is not enough
for me to explain
why

im a loner child
was born alone
raised myself up
i will live, and keep living
until this over, be strong

is it wrong for me to ask,
is it wrong for me to care,
sometimes i just wanna share.

-fahmy, 1:31 PM 08 aug 08

Third Eye Blind - Deep Inside of You

life

this one, is a dialog taken from a UK tv series Hustle, Danny Blue talking to Willie on rooftop

Willie : you wanna be regular people? hmm? do ya? well go ahead, go on.
They're crying out for footsoldiers down there.
Go and have your life run by bosses, bank managers and politicians, but if you wanna be a grifter, dont have anything in life you cant walk away from in a second.
Lovers friends, even your own mother.

exactly what ive been thinking.

( :

( :

Michele Branch - Goodbye To You

Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes,
but I do not cry,
counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul;
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
it feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I said...

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.

I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light,
but it's not right.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Ooh whoa....
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto
Goodbye to you, (goodbye to you)
goodbye to everything I thought I knew, (goodbye to you)
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto,
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)

Oh, oh whoa, oh, oh (one thing that i tried to hold onto)
and when the stars fall I will lie awake,
you're my shooting star.

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things!

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things Lyrics

Miley Cyrus Lyrics

I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we shared

It was awesome, but we lost it
It's not possible for me, not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you
The 7 things I hate about you, oh you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It's awkward and it's silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
When you mean it, I'll believe it
If you text it, I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh I'm not coming back
You're taking 7 steps here

The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention
The 7 that I like

The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
When we kiss I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hands in mine
When we're intertwined, everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I like most that you do
You make me love you
You do

wondering..

i am wondering right now,
who reads my blog?
answer - people and robots! you fool!
(robot is the google robot that crawling across the web to find you!)

blog for the day

well, its 7:49 am and i still cant sleep.
and i think its time to write something.

i wanna share something with you today, i heard this somewhere, but i couldn't
remember it. -
"a person that you know your whole life, doesnt mean he/she is your friend. you just knew them.and it doesnt have to take years to find a real friend"

do you agree with this?

hmm, i wanna tell you about the people that i knew my whole life.

they're divided into few groups -
my childhood and yet still friend, my school friends, my classmates, my uni friends, and others.

i love every piece of them, yeah i do.
my childhood friends always there for me, we always hangout, stupid jokes, old jokes. we would talk about our dreams, girls. school. the bad things we did together.

my schoolfriends are the majority, mostly guys. i never been into mixed school, except kindergarten and the stupid mrsm (that i rolled for a month lol)

and yeah, my classmates are the best people in my life ! i wont forget the name like jai, shah , faiz , broz, pali, anaih, leman , emon, and others! (i dont forget you guys, just malas nak type hehe)

my uni friends! i learned alot from these groups!

but now i wanna write about the "other" group.hmm u might be wondering who they are.
they are the people who i knew by doing something , joining something, or i knew them from other people.
it sounds insignificantly in this story, but it is.
i spent few years back with them. doing stuffs.
i wasted so much time with them.
they are the most talented arrogant people i ever know. i never regretted what ive done to them. . but im done with them.
like i said earlier before, maybe i know them quite long and good, but the truth is,they're never my friends.
friends will never leave friends. but they did. so they arent one :b

allright, so you might now guessing who are these people, or thinking are you the one that ive been writing about. well, the answer is NO.

well, think about it ! well peace out !

Train - Get To Me

I love this song so much. it gives me some kind of good feeling and i feeeeel so good everytime i listen to this. great lyrics tho
its from Train.



Well an airplane's faster than a Cadillac
And a whole lot smoother than a camel's back
But I don't care how you get to me
Just get to me
Parasail or first class mail
Get on the back of a Nightingale
Just get to me I don't care just get to me
Prokeds, mopeds take a limousine instead
They ain't cheap but they're easy to find
Get on the highway point yourself my way
Take a roller coaster that comes in sideways
Just get to me - yeah

Go on hitch a ride on the back
of a butterfly
There's no better way to fly
To get to me
I look around at what I got
And without you, it ain't a lot
But I got every, with you, everything

Maybe you could pollinate over the
Golden Gate
Take a left hand turn at the corner
Of Haight
And then a sharp right
At the first street light
And get yourself on a motor bike
And if you think you'll get stuck in a
traffic jam
That's fine, send yourself through a telephone line
It doesn't matter how you get to me
Just get to me

Cause after every day
The wind blows the night time my way
And I imagine that you are
Above me like a star
And you keep on glowing
And you keep on showing me the way
SHINE SHINE SHINE

Sara Bareilles !

Yeah,
im doing my first album review wohoo!

okay,
while writing this down, im still listening to her album for my first time.
but, Love Song has been on radio and tv every hours here and there now,and thats why i'd like to listen to her whole album and give my opinion abt it.

well, the Love Song is really a catchy and great songwriting by Sara, and i think i enjoyed it so much the first time i heard it on tv. Well, i always love pop rock/pop singer-songwriter-chicks who play instrument(s) like Michele Branch, KT Tunstall, Venesa Carlton, and im looking forward to hear more from Sara.

Her song One Sweet Love really unveiled her voices, and also a great song. Kinda like, Michele Branch type song. love it. Also take a listen to Between The Lines , City, Many The Lines, and Gravity.

No doubt that Sara Bareilles got a great voice and good songwriting skills.
Well, i hope she's not just going to be happy with her first album, im looking forward for her next material in future.


download it here (: , but dont forget to buy them if you like em

http://rapidshare.com/files/90222149/Sara_Bareilles_-_Little_Voices.zip

Van Wilder, at last.

well, at last , today, ive finally watched Van Wilder the movie.
yeah, the movie was out in 2002 and i watched it 6 years later.
van wilder got out from his college that year, and yeah, i was enrolled in my uni in the same year.
well, few people event requested me to watch that movie, when they knew that i am somehow, in my 6th of year uni.
yeah!
but im not considering myself as the van wilder. he's way too cool than me.
well, its a great movie, with great lines in it. and the movie is pretty much of what i think my life is.

(scene where ryan reynolds (van wilder) and tara reid sit after they had hockey game)

ryan : so, how long have you and premed richard been together?
tara : since my freshmen year
ryan : i bet he's a tight whitey guy (LOL , this one really hahah)
tara : excuse me?
ryan : white, elastic band, constrictive. You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drawers they wear.
Like you, granny panties, i bet!
tara : Does that allude me to being the plain, boring type?
ryan : No, i just wanted a visual.
tara : i think it takes a lot more than the kind of underwear one wears to define them as a person
ryan : Like what?
tara : Like their action. For instance, most people want to get out of school, so they can make money. You're trying to make money to stay in school. why?
ryan : I like it here
tara : what about your future?
ryan : you take life way too seriously
tara : life is serious
ryan : you know, i used to party with this guy who told me "van, Dont take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive" .
He used to write for the school paper. He kept babbling about the differences between light and dark beer. very strange, but good advice.
You think about the future too much, you kind forget about the present, obviously.
And i am really enjoying the present right now, sharing a penalty box and a tri-latte with Gwen Pearson, who believes cencorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself.

well, he's true i guess.
and i believe many of my friends, and students now in colleges and unis is striving their best to get out of their place, and go to the what they call "real world". real world of what they define as go to work at a company, get paid every month, pay bills, get married and have children.
but, most of them kinda forget, of what they're doing here.

they forget to enjoy themselves, they take drugs too much til they dont even stand on this earth, they study so hard til they forget to go out and have fun, they're too afraid of what their parents will say, til they left out so many things that they can do in uni, they're in love so damn much with their girlfriends til they missed out their friends and so many things.

hey guys, i know ive been here long than what im supposed to, i have my reasons.
and im not telling all these just to tell you to extend your studies, no.
what im trying to say is, you just have 4 or 5 years in your precious life to enjoy this.
and you will work for another 40 years and get married for the whole life, and you wont be getting it back when you're 40. or 60. it wont happened again.

to freshmen, let your next 4 years gonna be the greatest time on your life, and to anyone finishing soon, enjoy your last moment here, go out party with your friends, ask your long-lost-contact friends to hangout, call your friends to have drinks with you.

im jepun, hafizi, fahmy, kev, kevin jeps ! out!

felt like writing.

helo world.
how are u out there?
i dont know what to write, but im gonna give a shot.
well, howbout i tell you guys something .
about girls that i knew, before.
girls that really inspired me.
and most of em, gone now.

well, i kinda miss a girl i knew back in my schooldays.
i knew her accidently via irc , she thought im sombdoy else.
so we chat, and we met. that first met, omg,
she was soo beautiful. i felt for her.
since then, we always talked on the phone, irc-ing. everyday.
but, im nowhr around her heart. we were just friends.
but somhow after she finished school, she disappeared for a year,
it was my first year in uni. then i got her contact and we connected again.
but this time she was in kl, and has bf. i dont really mind. i always too late.
for everythg.
and then she was in love with my good friend. that was a sad time for me,
but im happy for them. but it dont last long.
and she disappeared again, and recently i heard,
she got married. );
she was my first crush.

and another girl is cinta.
i call her that because that's the only name i knew back then
when i was first year at uni.
well, she was a senior and she's damn hot.
i know she wasnt easy to get to know, so it took me half-a-year to get
to know her.
what's inspired me is she has the look and the brain. and we got somtgh
in common abt our mother.
she's a real good sister to her siblings.
and she's a good listener, good talker, and fun to hangout
even though back then, i speak POOR english (til now),
i still managed to speak english with her, LOL.
well, its been 4 years since the last time i met her.
she's engaged to smone now, and getting married soon.
i hope we can hangout for the last time (;

another one is za,
well, i kinda knew her since my alpha year in uni.
but we really got to know each other in 2005.
i like her , yeah i did.
but back then, she felt in love, again, with my good friend.
and again, im soooooo sad sad sad.
but in 2007, we got back together, but this time,
we really had feelings for each other.
shes a great friend and a good person to hangout.
she has a good taste in music, and tv too!
we used to sat and sang and play guitar together.
but, somehow i spoiled the relationship.
i kinda mis her, my friend.
i still remember she showing me around her old town, breakfast
together at her fav place.
well its all my fault. she's in a good place now.
i hope that we might be friend again.

another one is ...
well,
i dont know what to say abt her.
the most perfect girl i ever know.
but again, i spoiled it );
im so so so so sad.
if i have a chance to ride on a time machine
and get back in time,
i'd definitely repair this. this one.
that i cant really do anythg about it.

"of all the roses and apologies,
of all the sorry i asked,
i know daisy worth more to you,
i hope u'll forgive me,
even after im long gone from here"

to you, you know who you are.

i know nobody will read this.
but u know, somehow i felt like internet is like a treasure chest,
where we will dig and find something good in it.

til next time ya.

listening to SigurRos - Staralfur while writign this.

alive and kickin!

yeah
im re-opening this thing.
you guys sucks!
thank you for visiting.
jeng!

bye

bye, take care everyone!

kemaafan.

dear kamu.
aku mahu meminta maaf atas kesalahan ku
walaupun ku asek mengulanginya
aku tak bermaksud hendak melukai hati mu
tapi hati ini tiada siapa yang tahu
cuma aku minta satu di bulan yang mulia ini
maafkan aku semaaf hati mu
buangkan segala selisih
kita pernah berkawan satu ketika dulu
dan selalu bertukar cerita
sedih dan gembira dan apa saja
walaupun kita bukan teman yang rapat
tapi kita sentiasa ada di sisi masing-masing
tapi sekarang kita tidak lagi
dan aku tahu kamu membaca tulisan ku ini
walaupun pada zahirnya kamu tidak mahu
jadi ingatlah saat saat kita menjadi kawan dahulu
sedih dan gembira dikongsi bersama
maafkan lah aku sekali lagi
kita cuba lari dari kenyataan
tapi kita tidak sedar akan realiti
cukup sudah aku kehilangan
aku harap kita tidak pernah berkawan
tetap menjadi asing
aku juga berharap
yang aku bangun suatu pagi
dan aku tidak lagi ada memori
dan aku tidak perlu lagi risau tentang apa apa
hanya bebas untuk terbang
aku,
banyak melukai hati lain
dan hati ini juga telah banyak dilukai
oleh insan insan yang aku tidak salahkan
kerana aku juga yang mencari
tapi aku tahu
tuhan juga yang menentukan
hidup, kawan, jodoh dan mati
sekeras mana kita cuba untuk mati
tapi jika bukan waktunya, kita tidak akan mati
dan sekeras mana kita cuba mendapatkan seseorang
jika bukan mereka yang ditakdirkan
kita juga tahu jawapan
aku tidak pernah memiliki kekasih
mereka datang dan pergi
seperti malam berganti siang
tidak pernah mereka singgah dan berhenti
dan apa bila mereka berhenti sekejap
Tuhan telah menulis
yang aku bukan dengan mereka
mungkin,
tuhan menghantar aku ke dunia ini
bukan untuk memilik kekasih
tapi untuk tujuan yang lain
aku hampir tiada apa apa
bonda juga telah pergi
ayahnda juga seperti tiada
hanya ada abang dan adik
yang masih mendaki mencari sesuatu
mungkin
mungkin
kerana apa yang aku mahu selama ini
melihat dunia lain di seberang sana
melakukan apa saja yang aku mahu
berjumpa dengan orang orang
tuhan telah memberi peluang itu
untuk melakukannya semua
dan selagi aku memiliki tubuh yang sihat
masih ada rezeki
aku bersyukur.
kerana ramai di luar sana yang saket
yang cacat yang tidak makan.
tidak pula mereka bersedih
dan mungkin
dengan tubuh yagn sihat ini
tuhan mahu aku menolong mereka
atau rakan rakan ku
atau keluarga ku.
sudah 23 tahun 5 bulan aku hidup
entah untuk berapa lama lagi
tapi jika ditakdirkan aku hanya hidup
untuk menulis ini kali terakhir
aku mahu lagi
meminta maaf sepenuh hati
maafkan lah diri ini
di bulan mulia ini.
dan lupakanlah aku sepenuhnya
teruskan hidup mu
dapatkan apa yang kamu mahu
dan mungkin akan kita ketemu suatu hari
aku bukan yang terbaik untukmu
kerana itu tuhan tentukan
aku juga tidak pernah terbaik buat sesiapa
selamat tinggal
ini adalah tulisan ku terakhir di laman ini
you're a great friend.
thank you.
im sorry.
bye

Stranger

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

And I wished for things that I don’t need
(all I wanted)
And what I chased won’t set me free
(all I wanted)
And I get scared but I’m not crawlin’ on my knees

Oh, yeah
Everything’s all wrong, yeah
Everything’s all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don’t feel
I’m killing myself from the inside out
And now my head’s been filled with doubt

We’re taught to lead the life you choose
(all I wanted)
You know your love’s run out on you
(all I wanted)
And you can’t see when all your dreams aren’t coming true

Oh, yeah
It’s easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I’m not sure where I belong
And no where’s home and no more wrong

And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn’t be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me

Mmm, yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy
Mmm hmmm mmm

sorry

you're way more mature than me. i dont understand, why u keep telling people
all those stuffs, ( reader : i know its your blog, your right, your place, but hey, who's reading it ha?robots,cats? its your friends)
and when they read about it, what'd they think. what'd they feel.
and i know it is NOT about me that you're writing.

KEPADA READERS DI LUAR SANA, JGN INGAT AKU NI ROBOT DAN TAK ADA PERASAAN. hampa ingat aku tak rasa apa apa ka? hampa ingat aku suka suka buat kat orang ka? hampa ingat aku takda rasa sedih ka?
tolong la . mai duduk dengan aku untuk 2 hari, dan hampa akan tau.
i felt terrible for things that happened. terrible ok.
jgn suka suki tuduh aku mcm mcm, kata aku mcm mcm, just because its your friend. kamon la, think about it. mcm aku tak biasa saja dipersedihkan. aku pun sedih ok.
its life, everybody's broken. deal with it.

to YOU, i dont have anything against you, i dont hate you, i dont want to make u feel bad or anything.
well if you wanna write anything about what u feel, just go on. just dont make other people look bad, dont blame them. no no, jgn.
just think bout this, bila kawan kawan awak baca, of cos diorang akan sebelahi awak, and diorang akan hate that person. but, kalau awak memang nak mcm tu, just go on. nobody is stopping you.


try to forgive people. they're just people and being human. sometimes , we have to choose between A and B. and the decision sometimes, will hurt someone. with us knowing it, or not. we're not intentionally doing it to hurt them. we're just being ourself. And sometimes, other people might have to choose, between us or others. the same thing goes to them.
u know this better, i know u do.
just read this, and think about it.

im sorry if i wrote anything wrong here. and to you too guys.

stop

well honey, its not only other's fault when things aren't work out.
sometimes we should ask ourself why did it went wrong.
and remember, we cant force anyone, especially their feelings.
stop blaming people, please stop it. its not good for anyone.

end.

this blog will end here. ( : . thanks everyone. bye bye

matchbox 20 - bright lights - 2nd try.

matchbox 20 - bright lights

Hand me down

this song is for you.sorry sorry

matchbox20 - hand me down.

Someday they'll find your small town world
On a big town avenue
Gonna make you like the way they talk
When they're talking to you
Gonna make you break out of your shell
Cuz they tell you to
Gonna make you like the way they lie
Better than the truth
They'll tell you everthing
You wanted someone else to say
They're gonna break your heart, yeah
From what I've seen
You're just one more hand me down
Cuz no one's tried to give you
What you need
So lay all your troubles down
I am with you now
Somebody oughta take you in
Try to make you love again
Try to make you like the way they feel
When they're under your skin
Never once do you think that they would lie
When they're holding you
Then you wonder why they haven't called
When they said they'd call you
You'll start to wonder
If you're ever gonna make it by
You'll start to think
You were born blind
From what I've seen
You're just one more hand me down
Cuz no one's tried to give you
What you need
So lay all your troubles down
I am with you now
I'm here for the hard times
The straight to your heart times
When living ain't easy
You can stand up against me
And maybe rely on me
And cry on me, yeah
Oh no, no, no
Someday they'll open up your world
Shake you down to the drawing board
Do their best to change you
They still can't erase you
From what I've seen
You're just one more hand me down
Cuz no one's tried to give you
What you need
So lay all your troubles down
I am with you now
Lay them down on me
You're just one more hand me down
And all those nights don't give you
What you need
So lay all your troubles down
On me

seeing is believing, dreaming is reality

ok fine, semua benda aku buat salah.
so salah kan aku atas semua benda yg jadi. jgn salahkan org lain.
im the bad guy here. not anyone else.
yesterday a friend, harini tak mengaku.
takpalah, aku hanya rakan convertible, harini bleh jadi , esok jadi org lain, lusa jadi benda lain.
harini baik, cakap elok2. esok tak baik, cakap lebih kurang.

ada ayat org putih cakap - "live in my shoes for a moment, and you'll understand"
jgn la asek hentam saja. think!

life aint easy!

( :

hmm

back from ipoh. kenduri kendara yg best jumpa kezens. and also i met fza. tapi...entah la, rasa mcm i should shut my mouth and be a robot that only says yes or no. its like everything comes out wrong from my mouth

hello out there!

hello out there!
sometimes i think that somewhere out there, in other parts of the world, few stranger is reading this blog. are you one of them??

just read over my blog and i noticed, port have a blog too! yeay. i'll link you man!

well it is May. my bday has past, her bday, and many bdays!!!! im a taurian, so, lets read about me. they call the Taurian, The Tramp!

Tramp (trămp)

v., tramped, tramp·ing, tramps. v.intr.

1. To walk with a firm, heavy step; trudge.
2. 1. To travel on foot; hike.
   2. To wander about aimlessly.

v.tr.

1. To traverse on foot: tramp the fields.
2. To tread down; trample: tramp down snow.

n.

1. 1. A heavy footfall.
   2. The sound produced by heavy walking or marching.
2. A walking trip; a hike.
3. One who travels aimlessly about on foot, doing odd jobs or begging for a living; a vagrant.
4. 1. A prostitute.
   2. A person regarded as promiscuous.
5. Nautical. A tramp steamer.
6. A metal plate attached to the sole of a shoe for protection, as when spading ground.

well, most if it is true

TAURUS - The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long
relationships. Likes to give a good
fight for what they want. Extremely
outgoing. Loves to help people in times
of need. Good kisser. Good personality.
Stubborn. A caring person. One of a
kind. Not one to mess with. Are the
most attractive people on earth! 15
years of bad luck if you do not
forward



I LOVE SYAMZA.END.

weekend

ok i have audition for the audiowarfare tomorrow,
not that i have audition, im handling it.
by the way, i dont know what i should write here, and.
it seems to me that i absolutely have nothing interesting i can share with you guys,
even if i do, i wont be sharing it to much with you. no no not my life with you.
the truth is my life is boring. all day i will always think what to do for my band, or for other people, for example, the battle of the bands. i seldom think ways to enjoy myself.
ok done.

btw, i still hope that i never knew her, u know like one day you wake up and u cant remember a thing? its pain. its pain.
but no, life wasnt like that.
we have to breathe the air and walk the earth , look forward and live life.

but still, i never wanted to not knowing her. hmm.
nevermind, life is bigger than me. people wont event notice if im gone, not her certainly.

whats up with her? you wanna know what HER name? hehe nop.


Please stop pretending to be someone or anyone that you're not. just be yourself, you know who you are, and where u came.

do you blog?

hey there.
hello? hello?
is there anyone out there still read this blog?
should it write?

im not a good life blogger.
by the way, i tend to visit the links of blogs on my page , most of are them my friends' blog, none of them are active now, what happened to them? am i the only one blogging? do you blog? let me know if you're alive

i used to have a good friend, and i used to think SHE can be a good friend, but i don't know now. i guess friends can be so mean.

hey! i been thinking to join the sparc talentime this year. gonna bring The Bubbles song to it! visit my project band, The Bubbles

helo melo ya

what i suppose to write today?
im totally broke this weekend, so i just spending the time at home watching movies and my fav tv shows, theoc.
i did learned something from the ep, that , everyone will get in love for a certain time, or wanted to be love, and one day they'll realize that they actually the thing they need is not what they really want. you might want to have a lover, but after having it for a year,two, everyone might have a thought that they'll need space, away from it. i think i know the reason why.

we need to learn to love ourself first, get to know ourself better, before we really can love anyone else.

helo

i hope i never met her.
seriously

helo

i hope i never met her.
seriously

helo

i hope i never met her.
seriously

hah?

what should i write tonight?
im having imsomnia back! fuck this.

btw, thanks birthday girl for the pizzas and cokes last night.
i hope the lame paper wont be thrown away.
do take care of yourself okay?

thanks fiza for your GREAT suggestion. eheh. i dont know what to do without u.

i dont have anything to write tonight.
oh ya, just wanna tell u guys something.

MAINSTREAM MUSIC, ARTISTS, AND INDUSTRIES IN MALAYSIA IS SO FUC%$D UP!

WHO ARE THE FUCKED UP PEOPLE?
THE SAT TV PROVIDER,
THEIR FUCKUP SHOW, THEIR FUCKING AKADEMI,
THEIR FUCKED UP ARTIST.

THEY ARE SO FUCKED UP, TIL THEY HAVE TO ASK US TO SEND SMS TO MAKE THEM RICH.
AND TO MAINSTREAM ARTIST,

WHO?
SITI HANURZALI? ZAHOD AF? UMAWEEMAWEE?
damn, did you guys ever read in newspapers, or mags, or anywhere,
how many did these artist sold of any of their albums?
why did their album sales are not good?

reason;

1. the album itself.
as yourself. of any mainstream artist that you like, pick one,
do you remember the album's title?
do you remember how many tracks are on them?
how many songs on the album that are really good?
you probably listen their song(s) aired on radio, or broadcast on tele. how many song of their album get to be hits? one? two? do you think that song on radio because its good? nop, their PR asked those station to spin the cd.
lets take a good example, dont take Madonna, or Kylie, let say, we take an artist that was underrated and being criticized, Paris Hilton.
she came out with the single, Stars Are Blind. it became hits!
then Nothing in this world (its a great song to me, nice video clip). both became hits.
even though, she is a well known famous person, the simple life, the chain hotel, but still her songs get hits. its not about the singer, its about their songs (not to mention here, MOST mainstream artists dont write their song, composer did)

And what happen to our famous amous artists ?i heard they get like 15k-30k for a dinner show. thats all they can eat from.

Not album sales. not royalty. they get money from POLITICIANS' dinner, or any RICH PEOPLE's dinner. yeah, its true. and for our artist, gossips talks more than their songs. bullshit isnt?

and one more thing, THE COMPOSER.
do you know the composers of malaysia? i dont want to mention their name here, (because i dont wanna get sued(government is reading this),and i dont know).

MALAYSIAN MAINSTREAM MUSIC IS SUCKS. YOU GUYS PRODUCED CRAP MUSIC. I THINK ITS THE TIME WE FIND NEW COMPOSERS WHO HAVE NEW IDEAS,CREATIVITY, RATHER THAN LISTEN TO THESE SO-YESTERDAY COMPOSERS.


2. price of the album

not to many words here, THE RECORD STORES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. THE TOWERECORDS, THE SPEEDY, THOSE STORES. THEY ARE THE ONE THAT RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR LOCAL ARTIST CDS SOLD AT RM42.
MALAYSIAN PEOPLE ARE NOT REACH, THEY CANT BUY CD AT THIS PRICE.THEY'D PREFER BUY PIRATED CD AT RM10.
Lower the CD price at RM20 and you'll see the result.
we'll get more sales, artists will get more royalty, record label can afford to produce more great albums.

FUCK RECORD STORE!

3. the artist

stop being idiots and start being an artist. NO MORE AKADEMI, NO MORE OBSESSIVE GOSSIPS, NO MORE RELYING ON POLITICIAN'S DINNER FOR MONEY (DONT YOU WANT TO SING IN YOUR SOLO CONCERT WHERE PEOPLE WOULD BY THE TICKETS AT RM50 AND 10 THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE COME TO SEE YOUR SHOW?)
NO NO, thats is not what happening in malaysia. here, the tv channel, and the Satellite tv are organizing the concert. too bad, the artist cant stand on their own!wait a minute, these are free concert, we dont have to buy tickets, yeay! and wait a minute, they sing other artists' songs! and indonesian artist song. yeah.people dont want to listen to their own song. whats the song name by acha and that sissy?

i talked to a dancer last year, he was a dancer for artists for concert for a sat tv,
he did asked me something like this,

"knapa artis malaysia tak boleh pergi jauh" (why malaysian artists (mainstream) cant go further),
i said i dont know.
then he told me, "because they are too busy reading about their gossips and other artist gossips, they dont even want to learn dancing and singing"

he got a point!

you know the international artist?
fergie, rihanna, madonna, these artist are very good in singing, and they're good in dancing too. people would go to their concert, to see they sing and dance. a hell of a show!.

and what happened to our artist? THEY ONLY CAN SING (IF THEY'RE REALLY GOOD AT)


4. the buyer.

FUCK BUYER. im a malaysian people and i do meant it. MALAYSIAN PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE ART, THEY LIKE MUSIC, THEY LIKE ART, THEY JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE IT.

you know why?

they listen to radio everyday, watch fucking tv shows about music, vote SMS for the person. but when it come to buying their loving artist's CD,most of them, they never buy it, they buy the pirated cd (sometimes have bonus track, the pirated song from other artist, yeay!) , or download it.

thats not a problem, maybe they dont have money to buy the cd as we discussed earlier.

THEY DONT EVEN WANT TO PAY TO SEE THESE ARTIST'S SHOW.MALAYSIAN PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT FREEEEEEEEEE FOR EVERYTHING.












I wrote all these things, based on my experienced and what i know. im not just saying these things.
And the fact that im into both mainstream and underground music really make me feel good.
I love underground music, i play in a band. we write our own song, we produce our own album, we write our own lyrics, we do everything!
we never rely on POLITICIAN DINNER to get money, we play at local gig where sometimes only 20 people showed up. sometimes they pay us RM10 sometimes they dont. still im happy with it.
I buy cd of bands that i really like, or download their album, and go their shows. i dont mind spending my money on that.

DO YOU MIND SPENDING YOUR MONEY FOR THE MUSIC? ASK YOURSELF.
YOU LIKE BLACK EYE PEAS SO MUCH, YOU LIKE AKON, YOU LIKE LIMP BIZKIT, but have you ever buy their any CD?

i feel like writing

what should i write tonight?
im having imsomnia back! fuck this.

btw, thanks birthday girl for the pizzas and cokes last night.
i hope the lame paper wont be thrown away.
do take care of yourself okay?

thanks fiza for your GREAT suggestion. eheh. i dont know what to do without u.

i dont have anything to write tonight.
oh ya, just wanna tell u guys something.

MAINSTREAM MUSIC, ARTISTS, AND INDUSTRIES IN MALAYSIA IS SO FUC%$D UP!

WHO ARE THE FUCKED UP PEOPLE?
THE SAT TV PROVIDER,
THEIR FUCKUP SHOW, THEIR FUCKING AKADEMI,
THEIR FUCKED UP ARTIST.

THEY ARE SO FUCKED UP, TIL THEY HAVE TO ASK US TO SEND SMS TO MAKE THEM RICH.
AND TO MAINSTREAM ARTIST,

WHO?
SITI HANURZALI? ZAHOD AF? UMAWEEMAWEE?
damn, did you guys ever read in newspapers, or mags, or anywhere,
how many did these artist sold of any of their albums?
why did their album sales are not good?

reason;

1. the album itself.
as yourself. of any mainstream artist that you like, pick one,
do you remember the album's title?
do you remember how many tracks are on them?
how many songs on the album that are really good?
you probably listen their song(s) aired on radio, or broadcast on tele. how many song of their album get to be hits? one? two? do you think that song on radio because its good? nop, their PR asked those station to spin the cd.
lets take a good example, dont take Madonna, or Kylie, let say, we take an artist that was underrated and being criticized, Paris Hilton.
she came out with the single, Stars Are Blind. it became hits!
then Nothing in this world (its a great song to me, nice video clip). both became hits.
even though, she is a well known famous person, the simple life, the chain hotel, but still her songs get hits. its not about the singer, its about their songs (not to mention here, MOST mainstream artists dont write their song, composer did)

And what happen to our famous amous artists ?i heard they get like 15k-30k for a dinner show. thats all they can eat from.

Not album sales. not royalty. they get money from POLITICIANS' dinner, or any RICH PEOPLE's dinner. yeah, its true. and for our artist, gossips talks more than their songs. bullshit isnt?

and one more thing, THE COMPOSER.
do you know the composers of malaysia? i dont want to mention their name here, (because i dont wanna get sued(government is reading this),and i dont know).

MALAYSIAN MAINSTREAM MUSIC IS SUCKS. YOU GUYS PRODUCED CRAP MUSIC. I THINK ITS THE TIME WE FIND NEW COMPOSERS WHO HAVE NEW IDEAS,CREATIVITY, RATHER THAN LISTEN TO THESE SO-YESTERDAY COMPOSERS.


2. price of the album

not to many words here, THE RECORD STORES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. THE TOWERECORDS, THE SPEEDY, THOSE STORES. THEY ARE THE ONE THAT RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR LOCAL ARTIST CDS SOLD AT RM42.
MALAYSIAN PEOPLE ARE NOT REACH, THEY CANT BUY CD AT THIS PRICE.THEY'D PREFER BUY PIRATED CD AT RM10.
Lower the CD price at RM20 and you'll see the result.
we'll get more sales, artists will get more royalty, record label can afford to produce more great albums.

FUCK RECORD STORE!

3. the artist

stop being idiots and start being an artist. NO MORE AKADEMI, NO MORE OBSESSIVE GOSSIPS, NO MORE RELYING ON POLITICIAN'S DINNER FOR MONEY (DONT YOU WANT TO SING IN YOUR SOLO CONCERT WHERE PEOPLE WOULD BY THE TICKETS AT RM50 AND 10 THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE COME TO SEE YOUR SHOW?)
NO NO, thats is not what happening in malaysia. here, the tv channel, and the Satellite tv are organizing the concert. too bad, the artist cant stand on their own!wait a minute, these are free concert, we dont have to buy tickets, yeay! and wait a minute, they sing other artists' songs! and indonesian artist song. yeah.people dont want to listen to their own song. whats the song name by acha and that sissy?

i talked to a dancer last year, he was a dancer for artists for concert for a sat tv,
he did asked me something like this,

"knapa artis malaysia tak boleh pergi jauh" (why malaysian artists (mainstream) cant go further),
i said i dont know.
then he told me, "because they are too busy reading about their gossips and other artist gossips, they dont even want to learn dancing and singing"

he got a point!

you know the international artist?
fergie, rihanna, madonna, these artist are very good in singing, and they're good in dancing too. people would go to their concert, to see they sing and dance. a hell of a show!.

and what happened to our artist? THEY ONLY CAN SING (IF THEY'RE REALLY GOOD AT)


4. the buyer.

FUCK BUYER. im a malaysian people and i do meant it. MALAYSIAN PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE ART, THEY LIKE MUSIC, THEY LIKE ART, THEY JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE IT.

you know why?

they listen to radio everyday, watch fucking tv shows about music, vote SMS for the person. but when it come to buying their loving artist's CD,most of them, they never buy it, they buy the pirated cd (sometimes have bonus track, the pirated song from other artist, yeay!) , or download it.

thats not a problem, maybe they dont have money to buy the cd as we discussed earlier.

THEY DONT EVEN WANT TO PAY TO SEE THESE ARTIST'S SHOW.MALAYSIAN PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT FREEEEEEEEEE FOR EVERYTHING.












I wrote all these things, based on my experienced and what i know. im not just saying these things.
And the fact that im into both mainstream and underground music really make me feel good.
I love underground music, i play in a band. we write our own song, we produce our own album, we write our own lyrics, we do everything!
we never rely on POLITICIAN DINNER to get money, we play at local gig where sometimes only 20 people showed up. sometimes they pay us RM10 sometimes they dont. still im happy with it.
I buy cd of bands that i really like, or download their album, and go their shows. i dont mind spending my money on that.

DO YOU MIND SPENDING YOUR MONEY FOR THE MUSIC? ASK YOURSELF.
YOU LIKE BLACK EYE PEAS SO MUCH, YOU LIKE AKON, YOU LIKE LIMP BIZKIT, but have you ever buy their any CD?

2007?

hello, the not so much reader. (thanks for reading anyway)

damn, its been a month since we hit 2007 and again all of us getting older no matter how. not only us, our mother, father, brothers, sisters, friends and everyone too.
somehow they'll get old, and will leave us to somewhere, or God.
My advise is as always; Live your life as you will never have tomorrow (my grammar sucks, i dont care)
2007, will be a hard year for me. i know.
lets start with what happened last year(s).
i screwed up my the eBay business, now i'd have to start again from zero.
i have so many debt i have to pay back. (the australian trip did took all my money)
i met girls that i shouldnt met.
ok thats it.
well what i'd have to now, is to start the biz back. getting the money flows in back!
now that i purely independent from parent, i;d have to find my own money. do you think its easy?
and after that, pay all my debt back. hopefully by mid year i'll settle everything. and get my business on track so i can be rich again.
about girl problem. hmm im not good in this. i guess... i'll just leave this matter and let it be what it wanted to be.
shit i had a CRUSH and i still can get her out of my mind like i used to do. maybe i do really like her so much. nevermind.
as people say, time will heal, and i hope so.

anyway im gonna leave this cyberjaya for intern after this trimester, and i dont really know what gonna happen after that. am i going to come back, or cont. working, or leave and go somewhere?

ive promised myself that i wanted to go and meet all my friends who is still in college. i should do this. i should. i want a car i want a car.

the facts that i dont have gf for a long time, is because of my friends. i spent to much time with them, tooooo much time. i enjoyed my time with them, i always forgot that i dont have a gf. the fact that, i still have a frame of picture, of my classmates in Form 5,on my desk , should tell you everything.

Its not that i dont have any girl friends, i do have. alot. i occasionally go out with them. but i dont know why. maybe im to choosy or i don't want to choose at all.i dont know.

its gonna be a great year. if i finish my GAMMA year in mmu (the major subject), i've consider myself a step away from graduating and get my Degree and show them to my father. hehe.

and my brother and her wife is coming back this June, also aDam in february, and my best friend faiz puat is coming back this summer. ahhhh its gonna be ghreat.

till then, see you guys soon!

THE WISH LIST

Hi guys, ssup?
im feeling shit right now, and i have mood to write something and there's a lot of mosquitos in my room eventhough im at 7th floor and ive been trying to kill them using my deodorant spray.
it coming to the end of the year now, and i just wanna recall back the lasy year's "WANT IT NOW" list. let see...

1. A BASS guitar. really nice one - well never had money to buy this
2. record the-fucking-death-metal-greatest-fucking-song, haha, about 3 songs and jam it, yah and dont forget to gather back my band. the band name is ENDLESS , does anyone here have other suggestion? DONE this, but the band name is Mind Machine now, and we've recorded 4 songs and more to be done later.
3. I need money, to continue my study, or im dead. well pretty much the same now
4. new tyres for my scooter ahahahha. err which scooter? i got myself another scooter, a VS125 now. LOL
5. yah, i need a digital camera really bad. still... agh
6. a girlfriend. <--- this one, you might skip. nope, not yet. and this certainly wont be in next year's list because i dont want to have
7. i want to see she grads, and im going to wear suit and give flowers to her on her graduation day, and hoping she can fly after that, maybe Pan AM or MAS. this..did not happen as she didnt inform me, maybe you guys can read it somewhere in my blog
8. still, a driving licences (ada dua tu) GOT THISS!!!!! and i treat my friends 300pcs of satay for my Nazar
9. quit MMU and be a fulltime musician, or go travel. i might catch her somewhere. havent quit yet, and still part time musician, but i did travel, to Melbourne. yeah!
10. go to Dublin, and see U2 live. this...maybe next year
11. help my family out, especially my mother and brothers. still
12. a girlfriend. <-- skip. no
13. a singaporean bank account. no
14. a cooper ! not yet
15. b a good person. not yet

i think i've done good job with the list, considering that most of them has been done. the others...maybe later, or never. im going to come out with next year's list soon, and i think everyone should.

going off this weekend to Tampin for the Astro concert again. cya

THE WISH LIST

Hi guys, ssup?
im feeling shit right now, and i have mood to write something and there's a lot of mosquitos in my room eventhough im at 7th floor and ive been trying to kill them using my deodorant spray.
it coming to the end of the year now, and i just wanna recall back the lasy year's "WANT IT NOW" list. let see...

1. A BASS guitar. really nice one - well never had money to buy this
2. record the-fucking-death-metal-greatest-fucking-song, haha, about 3 songs and jam it, yah and dont forget to gather back my band. the band name is ENDLESS , does anyone here have other suggestion? DONE this, but the band name is Mind Machine now, and we've recorded 4 songs and more to be done later.
3. I need money, to continue my study, or im dead. well pretty much the same now
4. new tyres for my scooter ahahahha. err which scooter? i got myself another scooter, a VS125 now. LOL
5. yah, i need a digital camera really bad. still... agh
6. a girlfriend. <--- this one, you might skip. nope, not yet. and this certainly wont be in next year's list because i dont want to have
7. i want to see she grads, and im going to wear suit and give flowers to her on her graduation day, and hoping she can fly after that, maybe Pan AM or MAS. this..did not happen as she didnt inform me, maybe you guys can read it somewhere in my blog
8. still, a driving licences (ada dua tu) GOT THISS!!!!! and i treat my friends 300pcs of satay for my Nazar
9. quit MMU and be a fulltime musician, or go travel. i might catch her somewhere. havent quit yet, and still part time musician, but i did travel, to Melbourne. yeah!
10. go to Dublin, and see U2 live. this...maybe next year
11. help my family out, especially my mother and brothers. still
12. a girlfriend. <-- skip. no
13. a singaporean bank account. no
14. a cooper ! not yet
15. b a good person. not yet

i think i've done good job with the list, considering that most of them has been done. the others...maybe later, or never. im going to come out with next year's list soon, and i think everyone should.

going off this weekend to Tampin for the Astro concert again. cya

friends and family

hey all, whutsup?
sudah raya ke brapa ya skarang? tah tak ingat.
hmm well let start on my puasa, puasa is as usual, cuma this year, its a lil different from past years.
on 16th october i took off from KLIA to Melbourne to watch a concert that held at St. Kilda beach, The Palace. and i got back on 21st oct. (i'll write about it more in next entry).
raya is as always, i went to my kampung dekat Pendang Kedah and friends house around Alor Star town. and hanging out with my mom and brothers. my older brother not here he is in Dublin with her wife. they live there.
And on raya ke 8 kot i went with nasran and bah to Sungai petani , 2 good friend's house there.
And now cuti pun dah habis, everyone went back to where they came from, working, studying. My semester, or to be exact trimester (they use this term in MMU) started yesterday, and i havent register any subject yet, i cant because been barred by MMU's finance dept.
shit la, tiap2 sem kena bar. bosan betul.

and im broke now, after balik dari Melbourne where i spent byk sangat beli kat kawan2 adik2 mak. damn skarang nak kena recover balik aduh.

Oh ya, im working now with Top Response Sdn Bhd, as artist coordinator for Astro's Gegak Gemilang concert that will tour major city like Batu Pahat, Ipoh, Klang, Alor star, Seberang Prai , Kuantan.
I responsible for a female top artist.

Im now back in Sri Kembangan, trying to settle everything up, bills, rent , argh, i wish i have 1 million now. then i wouldnt have to think of anything.
I just watched The O.C season 4 episode 1 (adam tolong jgn gelak ok, aku tengok cerita ni sebab aku dah follow since day 1 dan aku bukan lelaki OC atau TTDI/HARTAMAS yang tak reti buat apa2 dan sissy) .

Sangat sedih lah my Mischa Barton has gone forever, tbe. Marissa Cooper . rest in peach darling. wanna know more please watch it ok?
And im listening to Lostprophets - Always All Ways. remind me of this life. you know.
when i think back,i've lost many people i love over the years. family or friends.

Ada kawan pun which i am very close hilang and nowhere to be heard, ada kawan pun yg dah berubah, dah meninggal dan mcm2 lagi. not to mention family. listening to this song remind me yg i am getting older and older everyday. so do everyone. and made me think that life is short and death can come anytime.

i PROMISE to myself that, next year, when i dont have financial problem, i'd travel around Malaysia to see all my friends, rapat atau tak, in all universities and colleges, cousins, aunts, uncles, semua. i'd be very good if i have car (: . i dont care but i will do it next year before everyone change again, or gone forever. that's my new year resolution.

And purposely i think God dont give me a girlfriend maybe HE dont want me to suffer. its better when you have nothing to lose kan? and i'll use this opportunity to do what i just said.
when i look back, i think the only person that doesnt move on with his past life is me. i miss all friends before and i want to see them. even my only ex, denna which i never talk since ......2001 since we broke up.

You know, when you dont have everything, you'll love anything that you have. i dont have rich family, i dont have girlfriends, i dont have big car or anything, but i do have great brothers, mother, father, and friends. i will stick with them until i die. whereever and whatever i do.

to all my friends reading this, know that i love you and if i owe you guys apology, or i do wrong, please forgive me in this good Syawal ok? hutang duit tu akan di bayar lah hehe.

nothing

nothing to write here, maybe later.
to YOU. just to let you know, you're RUDE!
you dont even know how to thanks.
and as a friend, it hurts me. you dont even know how
hard i tried to help.
"i came to KL just for the job" ? its not for the interview?

today on 4th sept.

last night i had a long sleep again, 9pm - 10am this morning.
just checking over orders from customers. well i have 19 orders pending and need to be shipped out.

ebay is nice. i support my living with eBay
ebay is bidding, bidding is business, business is goooooood!


visit my ebay store here (:



ebay store

my flickr page

http://www.flickr.com/photos/netelie/

i-hack 2006.

well i just got back from the itm's i-hack 2006 and im damn tired. this is my first time i involved in REAL computer intrusion as we say it "hacking" world.

details:
i dont really know much about hacking or computer security nowadays, as i only have basic knowledges and concepts about it. my team mate, crash (esco) asked me to join it, and i said why not, just to gain experience hey!
Last time i remember doing all this computer stuff were back in my alpha year in mmu, it is 2003, 3 years ago. lots of things changed nowadays and i never update my computer security skills.

The competition start 2nd sept with the Forensic challenge.
OUR group name is skullb0x- (taken from antitrust movie)

our task is given on the website, and we need to find bugs, hidden message, doing some reverse engineering, not to mention social engineering (: .
well, we (me as kevin and esco) lost for few hours and didnt know what to do. until we decided to use reverse engineering, reading program's hash code and hexadecimals.
damn i seriously taktau apa2 about this sebab dah lama sangat tinggal.
we were given viruses and worms (like brontok.exe) and we must find what the virus did and something like that.
There were 5 flags to be captured , and we managed to capture only 1 flag. well i think that's a good start for us . esco is studying public service and me studying design. hehe.
congrats to ITM's team they won the challenge (well no wonder because they are computer science students anyway)


2nd day is CTF (capture the flag) challenge.

well today we started pretty slow, there are 10 flags to be capture.
today was all about hacking and computer intrusion. unfortunately none of us expert in it.
i found 2 flags and esco almost found 1 flag but we manage to get ourself an encrypted phrase. we have no idea how to decrypte it and we leave it. we only get 2 flags out of 10.
But lucky for me, for less than 24 hours i learn basic concepts about sql injections.
well now that i know, there's no turning back.
ammar and suff (ammar was my schoolmate) team from Project Tango (they're from UTP) won it with 7 captured flags. congrats.
well today was fun. and it was funny too. hacking is only for my knowledge.. somebody did said to me i should learn IT rather than design heh.
go to my flickr page for more pictas!

hmm

hey it is 2:05am .

from my last post, i received comment abt it.
i dont know you're graduating, i have no idea at all. if i know, i'll definately go there.
tapi takpalah, its my fault that i dont know and its my fault i didnt say anything to you.
well you just take care of yourself and your family. and if you get married or anything in future, good luck then and congrats then.
im not gonna be long to wish u all that.

i cant believe it

u know what, let just start this post , with saying that im dissapointed. she graduated without telling me.
as a friend, and friend who help her throughout her fyp, she didnt even bother to tell me.
ya maybe she's so busy with her life, but thats a lame excuse to tell a friend like me. Well for sure im not so important as her bf. ya sure .
well who the hell am i want to have the right to say this thing.

bye

i cant believe it

u know what, let just start this post , with saying that im dissapointed. she graduated without telling me.
as a friend, and friend who help her throughout her fyp, she didnt even bother to tell me.
ya maybe she's so busy with her life, but thats a lame excuse to tell a friend like me. Well for sure im not so important as her bf. ya sure .
well who the hell am i want to have the right to say this thing.

bye

time

there's not much time left. u know. and after this its gonna be it. and im gonna enjoy this last moment as best as i can. if it really happened, i'm gonna fly. up up beyond!

dr christian troy

well just finished watching the most disturbing tv series , Nip/tuck . well i dont know how in the world i watch it, but the facts that their drama really full of possibilities that could happened in our real life, not just a tv drama.

ending season 2, dr christian troy (julian mcmahon) cought by The Carver , the serial rapist and carve face of his victim. i dont know if christian dead or not. hope not because i really like him, it sound gay but i do like him, i see him as me. really!

well, im going to have a really bad bad bad weeks coming over with my miserable love life that never seem to give me a chance not even tiny as germ. i dont know how to deal with this, probably going to get myself busy.

cya!

seketika

hoyea, fuck politics.
hmm, im really tired now, back in aloqstaq now, before that i was in Ipoh stayed at my makcik di's.
taking JPJ driving licence test tomorrow, both moto and kereta. owyea harap la lepas. im tired been working on carbontees business now, this sucks.
i dont know what i should hold to now, and i hope this is not another deja-vu.

THE BIGGEST LIE THAT OUR GOVERNMENT IS LYING US

VIENNA, March 20 (Xinhua) -- The average crude oil price dipped to 57.21 U.S. dollars per barrel last week, down only 0.18 dollars compared to the previous week, the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), headquartered in Vienna, said on Monday.
- taken from http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2006-03/21/content_4325760.htm

=======================================================================================

something from Australian news :

Why are fuel prices so high?

Petrol prices have increased in response to the rising price of crude oil. From mid February, crude oil prices have risen steadily and on Thursday 17 March, oil prices rose to an all time high, reaching US $56.46 a barrel. Previously the highest recorded price for crude per barrel was US$55.50 in October 2004.

Although oil prices have reached an all time high, according to BBC News, crude oil prices would need to reach US$90 to rise above the 1980 price in inflation-adjusted terms. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4357245.stm).

How does the price of crude oil affect Australian petrol prices?

Typically a rise of $1.00 US per barrel impacts Australian pump prices by about 1 cent per litre for petrol. For those interested, the calculation is listed below:

1. Take the price quoted as US $56.00 per barrel for WTI
2. Translate price that into Australian dollars: 56 times current exchange rate (1 USD = 1.2633 AUD / 1 AUD = 0.7916 USD) = $70.74 AUS per barrel
3. Then calculate the number of litres in a barrel: 1 barrel = 158.987146 litres
4. Then divide the cost per barrel in Australian dollars by the number of litres in barrel to determine the cost per litre for crude oil: $70.74 divided by 158.987146 = 0.4449 or about 44.49 cents AUS per litre for the crude oil. If US$57 = $72.00 AUS per barrel = 45.28 cents AUS per litre for the crude oil.

taken from : http://motormouth.com.au/newsletters/0503.htm
====================================================================================


Someone from myspace did posted up a bulletin showing how our government lie to us about the oil price. i dont want to just read and swallow it, i've done my reseach above.
he said something like this :

average price per barrel for oil is USD$60, and to process a barrel would cost USD$10.
so, USD$70 to process a barrel.

1 barrel = 158.987146 litres ± 159 Litres/barrel

USD$70 divided to 159 litres = USD$0.44025
today's currency
1 USD = 3.69634 MYR 1 MYR = 0.270538 USD

the answer is : RM1.62

ya kawan2. kita bayar skarang RM1.92 setiap liter. dan kita bayar lebih 3 kupang kalau kl cakap 30 sen. ada kerajaan bayar subsidi minyak ka? siap kita bayar lebih ada la.
if im wrong , correct me at the comments, and i'll admit if it is true. and i'll delete this entry (for government supporters and related)

aha. ini lah penipuan buta buta kerajaan Malaysia pimpinan Barisan Nasional, dan leading party UMNO. UMNO ni bukan patutnya tolong kita rakyat ni ka? oh siap cekik darah kita, isk takpa.

punya la pandai,siap print banyak2 harga petrol sebelum dan selepas subsidi, tampal merata2 kat stesyen minyak, billboard. bodoh la bodoh.
rakyat sekarang dah pandai baca, dah pergi sekolah, siap masuk university, ada yg ada PhD.jgn la dok buat penipuan besar besaran sangat.

lagi mau pangkah BN? think again
oh wait,

nanti ada orang cakap "eh mamat, lu ni tak bersyukur la apa kerajaan bagi" ada lagi ckp, "gila nak tukar kerajaan, habis la Malaysia" ada jugak akan ckp "kalau jatuh kat tangan orang lain, habis la kita"

errr sorry la kan, aku bukan tak bersyukur, tapi kalau kerajaan dok kaya adik bradik depa, pastu kita dok bayaq 3 kupang tu, nak berdiam diri? aku tak sebodoh itu. err habis la Malaysia kalau tukar kerajaan??? OMG, apa yg habis? duit? minyak? tengok la what happened to Indonesia, India, when corruption tak dapat dibendung, rakyat memberontak, tapi negara dah miskin, it'll happened to us if this continue in 10 or 15 years. lagi satu, bukan orang dalam party BN sahaja yg pandai ok, orang lain pun pandai jugak nak tadbir negara, orang lain p sekolah jugak.

aku akan post lagi jadah2 lain nanti, damn politikal plak skarang.
dak dak, ni bukan politikal, this is just a thought.

lastly,
aku bukan pembangkang, aku bukan pas, mahupun DAP atau keADILan. aku hanya suara kecil yg mahukan the truth!

Santana feat. Steven Tyler - Just Feel Better

(feat. Steven Tyler)

She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If we coming or I'm going
It's not how I planed it
I've got the key to the door
But it just won't open

And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better

And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping

I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have it seasons
Round and round it goes
And every day's a one before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feels better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better

And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

Long to hold you in my arms
To all things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It's really getting nowhere
I think I need a little help this time!

Yeah

I'm gonna try anything that just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better

And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

January 16.

hi, welcome back.
it is 6:25am in the morning, and havent sleep yet.
truth is, i cant sleep.thinking what had happened in like last 3 months in my life.
it was great, and sucks too. i had fallen with somebody that i dont love. and i'd fall in somebody that i cant. well its been like a week has past, and i've tried to get away from her. it really disturb me off, when someone started to appear in my dreams. in other way that mean im really thinking about it. i dont believe in dreams, crap. and i keep telling myself that i cant do that, i cant do that. keep away. and its hard.
and i really, dont wanna be the guy, that likes a girl, who have somebody, and hoping that she would have problems and finally break off with her love. i dont want to, i hate that guy. what are my chances?
in no time, we all will be off our ways.i dont know by that time how im going to be. time is running out. i dont have much.i am just jealous of him.really.on their day, i'd congratulate him with my biggest honorable, of having the smartest, prettiest , and coolest women i've ever met. i'd trade all have for it.leaving to hometown sooner, gbye!

and by the way, eza. i never meant to hurt you.it just me. i got problems, with my self.forgive me when im gone.
to to to to go go go go hoh oh ho lapar.
bye
sincerely me,
hafizi.fahmi.kevin.jepun.g.

hi,
happy new year 2006 for everyone. damn does this mean that im a year older? hahaha.
ok, im gonna start off this blog with the new year's eve.
on 28 of disember, i went back to aloq stuck, just to join Incarnation - www.myspace.com/incarnationcrew gig at ipoh, on 30th morning we hit the road on bus to ipoh. that show started very late, about 630pm because the "headliners" have some problem on the road. Incarnation were playing as the 4th band. because of we arrived very early, about 130pm that day, so we kinda like did some soundcheck and the result was, fantastic. the sound was really perfect. as they finished playing, we leave the show because we had to take KL bus at 11.

31st disember. we went to midvalley that evening, and then off to Pauls place after that around 6. lotsa people there on that evening.

the bands that suppose to play that night were:
crystal lake, cassandra, force vomit, second combat, uphold, devilica, falling grudge, man under zero effort (MUZE) , net, restraint and crestfallen.

the started around 730 with restraint hit the stage first. follow up by the falling grudge. and after the UPHOLD www.myspace.com/upholdnrhc . this is the first time ever, pauls place crowded with people. that was a really nice show.
after uphold went off the stage, we lepak at kedai mamak nearby. and my friend, broz came to me and bagitau ada tok bond bagitau dia, polis nak buat rush. no wonder i saw patrol car before this. and not long after that, a police van came in rush, their 4WD, and they started asking kids for their IC. not only who went to the gig, but people who was having a drink at mamak stall, walking by also were asked.

without further ado kami beramai2 roket dari mamak itu dan terus blah dari tempat kejadian, not long after that, two "black maria" truck came in rush.
kesian kawan2 yg dalam pauls place and dekat kawan tu. semua kena angkut p balai polis brickfields.rakan2 yg kena ialah seperti Shahrin uphold, arwidth, broz, kimi, kawan2 dia.

ok, now let see...whats the point of the raid.

1. they said that was a "BLACK METAL" gig ???? was there really a black metal band in the list?? and even if there is, whats wrong with playing black metal music, we never minum darah kambing or sembelih kambing, (aku makan kari kepala kambing ada la kat kampung)

2. they said muda mudi minum arak secara berleluasa dan tin arak bertaburan - ehem, sori, ini bukan gig skinhead yg slalu minum arak, and kalau polis nak cari , p lah ZOUK ka, atau Orange ka, Atau Nuovo ka, lagi ramai, siap underage lagi.

3. they said Pauls place takda lesen dan gig takda permit. yes its true. paul are now getting licence from local authorities, and the organizer never knew that place didnt have permit. but...... police can't arrest and brought all the 400 kids to the police station because of this thing.

shit man, pasaipa ada orang tak puaih hati kat talented musician mcm depa ni.

and on 2nd of Disember. at pauls place, there was a Press conference between press and the victim. the victims are = paul (pauls place) , a women activist, an engineer who respresent us, dicky, ein second combat, a member of The Blues Gang, a member from SUHAKAM (suruhanjaya hak asasi manusia malaysia).
the press are - tv3, tv8, tv2 ,NST, the star, satu newspaper cina and beberapa lagi.

the victims explained to media and press what really happened, and who we really are, and what the metro wrote was really stupid and wrong.
that day was like a history in Malaysia's democracy, since we never really have people who really care about our music scene that has been abused and labelled as BLACK METAL .

and now, all the lawyers, suhakam, and few others are working on paperwork, to take court action against police force, metro and others.
if they ever repeat the same thing again, they wont even bother to do that.
just a note here, i think they are DAP (democratic action party) people who trying to help us. ala biasa la, pembangkang nak cari point. tapi look here, where's the government that we all chose?

all the best to semua yg kena tangkap that night, hope you guys have fun. hehe. to suicidal art, dont give up, continue you good job. to abby, dont worry, you are not Black metal leader as what police told us. hahahahha.



orale! mari pergi gig aloqstuck 7/1 !!!

heck.

hi,
it is now 630pm, monday 26 disember, a day after the xmas.
i still sleep at 8, wake up around 3. its been like, a week i've become like a zombie. reason is, been thinking alot of myself.
honestly, i've been shocked by who i think my good friend was, said about me. and it goes like this

"Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything Because of you I dont know how to let anyone else in Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because its empty Because of you I am afraid
FUCK YOU n Ur LIFE n Ur FUCKING BAND 'n' also Ur FUCKING HOMETOWN"

well, one thing i wanna say to you is, you have no rights, to judge me, no fucking rights,to fuck my life, and no fucking rights, to say that to my band, and no fucking fucking rights, to say that to my hometown. you dont even know me, you dont even know when my bday is, and you know nothing about me. fuck? say that to yourself, and fucking blame yourself for not ever trying to care about it.

yeah i know your life is just pathetic, and you try to run away from your past, and you came from a miserable town and try to escape from it. u know what, just face it. the thing with you and your exs , you and your cousins, you and your fancy petbro, you and your life, and you with your ugly myspace are just misery. yea, guys in your myspace is like jerks

you cant even accept the facts to accept a guy in your life. bullshit if you say that you care. you never done with your past, you keep moaning about your exs.try to act cool infront of your friends? hmm i dont know about that.

im sorry for what i've done, im gonna pay for them. but YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT TO MY LIFE. NOT FUCKING EVER. BLAME YOURSELF FOR NOT EVEN CARE ABOUT ME. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME, YOU NEVER KNEW MY BAND, AND YOU NEVER LIVE IN MY TOWN. thats ashame.

i've lost my respect to you friend. totally.

6:25 AM December 23

hey, yah, just two more days for christmas and i dont fucking care unless im going to get presents. hahaha.
shit, its now 6:27 in the Friday morning and i cant sleep. still. damn am i really depressed? yah, well, its not too early to wish you guys happy new year, it just a week away.
world has been shocked last year about the asian tsunami wave. 250'000 people lost their live. and now, southern thailand, perlis, kedah, penang are flooded for about a week now. i hope it'll be ok in few days. still i hope we can celebrate the new year without any tears. haaha.
hey, whutsup, its been about a year since my first post to this blog. haha, well, i dont really like this kinda blog thing, its like revealing your personal life to others. i do remember the old way of blogging back in 1999-2002 . web logger using personal server to post up their blog everyday. now we have this BLOGGER from google. yeay! on of what google will do to us, - read our life, and take over the world. yeah, read my post about a year ago on google - http://jepun41.blogspot.com/2005_01_01_jepun41_archive.html .

hey, guess what, let see what's my last year's wish list are, and did i manage to get em!



a digital camera - tak kisah lah apa2 pun. *still tak dapat,kedekut beli benda2 lain*

slr camera *hahah yeah, asyik pinjam yg port punya*

what my mom had left. *ow shit, they still having em!*

a driving licence. *hahahahh this is fun, i only managed to get an L for motocycle and L for car, shit, does that stand for Loser? no, its for LONER"

well, a girlfriend? *hahah no comment, im still a loner"
electric guitar w MT-2 *yeah! i did get em, An Ibanez GRG70 with MT-2 Metalzone, plus i now have and Gibson Epiphone SG US Made, and a Line 6 POD 2.0!!*

fund for a longest trip ever. *ada baru RM500, tu baru 10%*


------------------------------------------------------------------------

and now, my want-it-now list for 2006

1. A BASS guitar. really nice one
2. record the-fucking-death-metal-greatest-fucking-song, haha, about 3 songs and jam it, yah and dont forget to gather back my band. the band name is ENDLESS , does anyone here have other suggestion?
3. I need money, to continue my study, or im dead.
4. new tyres for my scooter ahahahha
5. yah, i need a digital camera really bad.
6. a girlfriend. <--- this one, you might skip.
7. i want to see she grads, and im going to wear suit and give flowers to her on her graduation day, and hoping she can fly after that, maybe Pan AM or MAS.
8. still, a driving licences (ada dua tu)
9. quit MMU and be a fulltime musician, or go travel. i might catch her somewhere.
10. go to Dublin, and see U2 live.
11. help my family out, especially my mother and brothers.
12. a girlfriend. <-- skip.
13. a singaporean bank account.
14. a cooper !
15. b a good person.

16, just added - last wish to have the greatest rocking band in mmu, and it will rock and suck out all x-tian rock, chinese rock in mmu. and im gonna have a women singer and thats fucking rock


ok thats fucking enough. byk sangat kot to be achieve within a year. lets see what i can do. hehe
well, Kaknad and Abang now moved to a new house in Dublin, damn i wish i can go there. kaknad is now EXPECTIOn and her work permit has been approved and abang change from civil engineering to Landscaping, what a "art" family im in. LOL
well, i have a question for anyone to answer .... it is worth to wait for someone you really like, eventhough you know you only have 1% chances, for like, 4 to 5 years?

hey that its.well THE O.C now holds up at 3x10 for christmas, pretty much the same thing happened as i watched the oc about two years ago.
marissa doest feel happy with ryan, she do her " ah, im leaving" thing, ryan gets into trouble, cohen's family in trouble bla bla.
but...that the good thing about this movie.hahaha. well im a tv junk. i always love tv. eventhough they are control by the government LOL!

ok this is it.
catch you guys later!!!!

walk on

helo!
its been awhile since my last blog. i always knew that this blogging thing wont work for me, just the same like my old diary, updated monthly! haha.
where's im going to start..hmm well,
i stop blog before puasa, and let's continue.
my puasa was fun, because i had good time at aloqstuck with frenzah. just laid back everyday.
hari raya is fun too, even though im celebrating it quite simple. will be update raya picture later. (still using SLR lol)
ok, my weight gained about 10ks, last time i checked was at 71kg. ok that enough i think. lara did told me to gain, probably she'll be shocked seing me. haha
well, lotsa things happened in last two months, few things i cant tell,few things i can.
well, for whatever happened last two months, im seriously need a break, from all those stuff. like women. why? i dont know. something "happened" that make me afraid of relationship. really afraid of having one.
ok, enough about that.
now, study. hmm, for some reason, im on leave this trimester, that means, i dont take any subjects. yeah, i think thats good for me, to clear my head up after whatever things happened back in last sem.
talking about my head, im having sleeping problem now, not a sleeping disorder, but Imsomnia. well, i met a doctor, she said that imsomnia is a factor of depressed.
damn, am I ? what was i thinking about.
im kinda sick lately,really sick, but sickness will never let my spirit down.
as what bono said, walk on.
im starting new business now, probably will take time before its stable.
this is a rough time, it is. maybe for everyone else. i hope everything will be ok.
u2 is the best rock band ever.

u2- walk on

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring
Love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind...

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Oh, oh
Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No, they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed, to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly, for freedom

Oh, oh
Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
You stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart, it breaks
You can only take so much

Walk on...
Walk on...

Home...
Hard to know what it is, if you never had one
Home...
I can't say where it is, but I know I'm going
Home...
That's where the heart is...

And I know it aches
And your heart, it breaks
And you can only take so much

Walk on...
(Hooo)

Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel

All this you can leave behind

All that you reason, (it's only time)
(Love is a feeling on my mind)
All that you sense
All that you scheme
All you dress-up
All that you've seen
All you create
All that you wreck
All that you hate

Non-Regional Hardcore Community -NRHC 

fuh 

azim taking the mic for the last song. 

yeah aku lagi 

lawa gambaq ni serius, congrat jai ! 

emjoe drummber incarnation 

moshpit kickboxer's dia ni memang jahat 

sharil jepun dan juga crowd dari seremban 

misbah bassist incarnation 

zakkwylde's emg sound 

yeah syoq pa 

yeaaa drum paling stai  

Bah "skate tactic" on bass 

fucking nice crowd 

this is udey on 1st