Monday, December 26, 2005


it is now 630pm, monday 26 disember, a day after the xmas.
i still sleep at 8, wake up around 3. its been like, a week i've become like a zombie. reason is, been thinking alot of myself.
honestly, i've been shocked by who i think my good friend was, said about me. and it goes like this

"Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything Because of you I dont know how to let anyone else in Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because its empty Because of you I am afraid

well, one thing i wanna say to you is, you have no rights, to judge me, no fucking rights,to fuck my life, and no fucking rights, to say that to my band, and no fucking fucking rights, to say that to my hometown. you dont even know me, you dont even know when my bday is, and you know nothing about me. fuck? say that to yourself, and fucking blame yourself for not ever trying to care about it.

yeah i know your life is just pathetic, and you try to run away from your past, and you came from a miserable town and try to escape from it. u know what, just face it. the thing with you and your exs , you and your cousins, you and your fancy petbro, you and your life, and you with your ugly myspace are just misery. yea, guys in your myspace is like jerks

you cant even accept the facts to accept a guy in your life. bullshit if you say that you care. you never done with your past, you keep moaning about your exs.try to act cool infront of your friends? hmm i dont know about that.


i've lost my respect to you friend. totally.

Friday, December 23, 2005

6:25 AM December 23

hey, yah, just two more days for christmas and i dont fucking care unless im going to get presents. hahaha.
shit, its now 6:27 in the Friday morning and i cant sleep. still. damn am i really depressed? yah, well, its not too early to wish you guys happy new year, it just a week away.
world has been shocked last year about the asian tsunami wave. 250'000 people lost their live. and now, southern thailand, perlis, kedah, penang are flooded for about a week now. i hope it'll be ok in few days. still i hope we can celebrate the new year without any tears. haaha.
hey, whutsup, its been about a year since my first post to this blog. haha, well, i dont really like this kinda blog thing, its like revealing your personal life to others. i do remember the old way of blogging back in 1999-2002 . web logger using personal server to post up their blog everyday. now we have this BLOGGER from google. yeay! on of what google will do to us, - read our life, and take over the world. yeah, read my post about a year ago on google - .

hey, guess what, let see what's my last year's wish list are, and did i manage to get em!

a digital camera - tak kisah lah apa2 pun. *still tak dapat,kedekut beli benda2 lain*

slr camera *hahah yeah, asyik pinjam yg port punya*

what my mom had left. *ow shit, they still having em!*

a driving licence. *hahahahh this is fun, i only managed to get an L for motocycle and L for car, shit, does that stand for Loser? no, its for LONER"

well, a girlfriend? *hahah no comment, im still a loner"
electric guitar w MT-2 *yeah! i did get em, An Ibanez GRG70 with MT-2 Metalzone, plus i now have and Gibson Epiphone SG US Made, and a Line 6 POD 2.0!!*

fund for a longest trip ever. *ada baru RM500, tu baru 10%*


and now, my want-it-now list for 2006

1. A BASS guitar. really nice one
2. record the-fucking-death-metal-greatest-fucking-song, haha, about 3 songs and jam it, yah and dont forget to gather back my band. the band name is ENDLESS , does anyone here have other suggestion?
3. I need money, to continue my study, or im dead.
4. new tyres for my scooter ahahahha
5. yah, i need a digital camera really bad.
6. a girlfriend. <--- this one, you might skip.
7. i want to see she grads, and im going to wear suit and give flowers to her on her graduation day, and hoping she can fly after that, maybe Pan AM or MAS.
8. still, a driving licences (ada dua tu)
9. quit MMU and be a fulltime musician, or go travel. i might catch her somewhere.
10. go to Dublin, and see U2 live.
11. help my family out, especially my mother and brothers.
12. a girlfriend. <-- skip.
13. a singaporean bank account.
14. a cooper !
15. b a good person.

16, just added - last wish to have the greatest rocking band in mmu, and it will rock and suck out all x-tian rock, chinese rock in mmu. and im gonna have a women singer and thats fucking rock

ok thats fucking enough. byk sangat kot to be achieve within a year. lets see what i can do. hehe
well, Kaknad and Abang now moved to a new house in Dublin, damn i wish i can go there. kaknad is now EXPECTIOn and her work permit has been approved and abang change from civil engineering to Landscaping, what a "art" family im in. LOL
well, i have a question for anyone to answer .... it is worth to wait for someone you really like, eventhough you know you only have 1% chances, for like, 4 to 5 years?

hey that its.well THE O.C now holds up at 3x10 for christmas, pretty much the same thing happened as i watched the oc about two years ago.
marissa doest feel happy with ryan, she do her " ah, im leaving" thing, ryan gets into trouble, cohen's family in trouble bla bla.
but...that the good thing about this movie.hahaha. well im a tv junk. i always love tv. eventhough they are control by the government LOL!

ok this is it.
catch you guys later!!!!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

walk on

its been awhile since my last blog. i always knew that this blogging thing wont work for me, just the same like my old diary, updated monthly! haha.
where's im going to start..hmm well,
i stop blog before puasa, and let's continue.
my puasa was fun, because i had good time at aloqstuck with frenzah. just laid back everyday.
hari raya is fun too, even though im celebrating it quite simple. will be update raya picture later. (still using SLR lol)
ok, my weight gained about 10ks, last time i checked was at 71kg. ok that enough i think. lara did told me to gain, probably she'll be shocked seing me. haha
well, lotsa things happened in last two months, few things i cant tell,few things i can.
well, for whatever happened last two months, im seriously need a break, from all those stuff. like women. why? i dont know. something "happened" that make me afraid of relationship. really afraid of having one.
ok, enough about that.
now, study. hmm, for some reason, im on leave this trimester, that means, i dont take any subjects. yeah, i think thats good for me, to clear my head up after whatever things happened back in last sem.
talking about my head, im having sleeping problem now, not a sleeping disorder, but Imsomnia. well, i met a doctor, she said that imsomnia is a factor of depressed.
damn, am I ? what was i thinking about.
im kinda sick lately,really sick, but sickness will never let my spirit down.
as what bono said, walk on.
im starting new business now, probably will take time before its stable.
this is a rough time, it is. maybe for everyone else. i hope everything will be ok.
u2 is the best rock band ever.

u2- walk on

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring
Love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind...

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Oh, oh
Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No, they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed, to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly, for freedom

Oh, oh
Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
You stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart, it breaks
You can only take so much

Walk on...
Walk on...

Hard to know what it is, if you never had one
I can't say where it is, but I know I'm going
That's where the heart is...

And I know it aches
And your heart, it breaks
And you can only take so much

Walk on...

Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel

All this you can leave behind

All that you reason, (it's only time)
(Love is a feeling on my mind)
All that you sense
All that you scheme
All you dress-up
All that you've seen
All you create
All that you wreck
All that you hate